jesus christ...

wow. sometimes you read things and you ask yourself, really...really?! why are you telling me this?
for example, according to this article the tree in rockefeller center is the "greenest" it has ever been. (it seems like every news story lately has something to do with "green" or old people getting a degenerative brain disease and falling in love with someone else.) i sure am glad the tree is going to be extra green this year...meanwhile environmentally destructive behavior takes place all over new york city, the US, and the world. i will admit that having the tree run off of solar panels is a truly legit idea. but it was another quote in the story that just reminded me that we are all part of the mindless mass, or at least thats the way politicos, and the media see us.
-gee whiz, thats a niiiice christmas tree!
-you bet it is, and it runs off of solar power!
-boy! thats good for the environment!
- and how! you know what else, we chopped it down by hand this year, and recycled all of the byproduct from the cutting event!
-you mean you went to all the trouble of driving a huge truck there and back from the forest, cut it down by hand, and recycled the stump and sawdust?? thats green!
-and how!
-but what are you going to do with the tree after christmas??
-dont worry son, after christmas the tree will be “milled and treated and made into lumber to be used by Habitat for Humanity.”
- woah! recycling and the habitat for humanity! thats green AND charitable!
- and how!

do we really have to mill the god damn rockefeller christmas tree? sink that bastard and make a bream bed, mulch it and compost it, let it rot in the forest it came from. they'll probably mill it, load it onto a truck decorated with a wreath made out of branches from the tree and then representatives from new york sports teams (one or two possibly driving the truck, for that down home, roll up your sleeves can-do spirit) will go to the site of the latest natural disaster and rebuild a house using....the same lumber from the rockefeller tree!! how thoughtful.
i guess what i enjoy the most is that instead of thought, money, and energy being directed into longterm projects that actually matter and make a difference, we get this. fuck leaving the lights on, plane flights, water conservation, recycling, eating local, reducing co2 emissions...to hell with it all! why go to all that trouble when you can just create a media event?

fat bastard in suit : arite, so we've got da tree running off of solah powah right, and we cut it by hand right? so when christmas is ova, we donate da tree ta habitat, we got cameras, ill be deh, da maya'll be deh. deh'll show da story during da supa bowl. boom. new york and rockafellah are as green as snot.
intern : damn fat bastard, you sure can manipulate.
fat bastard in suit : and how son, and how.

1 Comment:

becca said...

you're hilarious
and i agree