you old dog!

you've managed once again to make me laugh out loud and wonder awkwardly to myself if my roommate thinks im crazy.

This is directly from the national hoax, or as i like to say "hot off the hoax". who is responsible for this chef d'oeuvre you ask? none other than locally renowned celebrity & heartbreaker alex hughes.

I know dream talk is lame. I rarely hear a good dream story. That being said, I had the best morning dream the other day…

There I was hanging out with a bunch of pals in what appeared to be a shitty hotel lobby. After a few minutes of dream chatter, we decided to investigate. I mean it’s not like anyone had to go to their dream-job, or had dream jury-duty. So we’re looking around and we realize we’re hanging out in one of those modern mega-churches. Somehow we’d failed to notice the signs which included 40 foot crosses and tons of white people. Dreams, so unreliable! Anyway now we’re wandering around this giant church and it becomes painfully clear that this is one racist church. There’s caricatures all over the place, signs that read “no blacks!”. Shit is fucked. So we go to the bar. Yes, the bar. Because even though this is a super racist Church they have a fully stocked bar, not unlike the one in the Shining. So we’re sitting at this church bar, mulling over all the fucked up shit we’d just seen. Then the bartender rolls up. He tells us he’d been listening to our conversation, thought maybe we should check out the church’s commandments. We’re like “fuck it, sure.” He proceeds to pull out a Hallmark card that has Ten Commandments written on the front in that really crappy Hallmark font. You know the one it’s gold and embossed. So we open the card and there’s a list of commandments. I can only remember three:
-No sneezing-
-Be kind, rewind-
-Don’t be a jerk-
After we read this list we all looked at each other and started laughing.

The end.


hotter than sriracha...chapeau bas hughes...chapeau bas.